I'm not saying I have commitment issues (I’m also not saying I don’t…), but I refuse to pick a favorite dinner party dish to make or a number one wine to serve because I'm afraid of choosing wrong. What will my best friend’s new boyfriend’s cousin who’s in town from Strasbourg think of my $26 sparkling Chenin when he’s had all of the best wines in the world straight from the source? And if I pin the entirety of my lukewarm, self-taught culinary expertise on a Thai curry, where does that leave me when someone at the other end of the table says that they don’t like coconut?

As such, my solution has always been: MORE.

But with great quantity comes great flavor responsibility, as they say…probably.

So the next time you’re staring into the abyss of your pantry at 7:28pm when guests are arriving at 8, wondering if turmeric and tahini go together and how people actually know what “go together” means in the grander sense—don’t despair, because this week we’re deep diving into:

1. Flavor pairings—and how to actually understand the do’s and don’ts so you can replicate them with the things that you have at home

2. Tips for dinner party hosting that will take the stress out of what should always be a warm and heart-filling process

3. Things you can make ahead of time so that the day of doesn’t feel like the end of the world

4. And games to play at dinner parties that don’t feel forced or groan-inducing

Mad Science: The Chemistry Behind Perfect Pairings

Food pairing is less mysterious dark magic and more "opposites attract but sometimes similar is fine too."

The science boils down to this: compounds that share flavor molecules tend to work well together. That's why chocolate and coffee (which both contain similar aromatics) pair perfectly.

Of course, there’s more to it than that as well. Research from food scientist Harold McGee shows there are actually two competing theories of successful pairing:

Theory #1: Similarity 

Ingredients sharing key flavor compounds create harmonious pairings. This explains why vanilla and cream are always in the same dishes or why tomatoes and strawberries (which share 85 volatile compounds) can work surprisingly well together.

Theory #2: Contrast 

Complementary flavors create balance by filling each other's gaps. This is why salty caramel works—the salt enhances sweetness by dampening bitterness, creating a more complex experience. Or why acidic pickles are always served with BBQ since they can cut through the fattiness of a brisket.

If you want to level up your pairing game without memorizing volatile compound charts, here's a cheat sheet:

• Fat loves acid (think: a key lime pie or a lemon tart)

• Sweet loves salt (big enemies to lovers energy)

• Bitter needs sweet (coffee and sugar proves that opposites do attract)

• Heat needs cool (spicy food and yogurt—that’s why you always get dahi (South Asian yogurt) with your vindaloo or curry)

• Umami amplifies everything (mushrooms, aged cheese, and miso are basically the supportive friends who make everyone around them shine brighter)

History 101: Why We've Been Pairing Since Prehistory

Our obsession with pairing didn’t begin when that one girl you still follow from high school started posting “how to pair your favorite wine and Halloween candy” Instagram graphics.

Back in Ancient Rome, garum (a fermented fish sauce) was commonly used as a flavor enhancer across various dishes, showing an early understanding of how umami compounds can elevate other tastes. Evidence from excavated Roman dining halls and recipe collections like Apicius demonstrate their sophisticated approach to flavor combinations.

During the medieval period, European culinary traditions were heavily influenced by humoral theory, where ingredients were classified by their perceived qualities (hot, cold, wet, dry). This medical framework led to deliberate pairing of opposing elements to achieve balance in meals. For instance, "hot" spices might be paired with "cold" fruits in many court recipes from the 14th and 15th centuries.

By the Renaissance, culinary treatises began to document more specific pairing principles. In Italy, the concept of "marriage" between certain ingredients appeared in cookbooks, with particular attention to regional combinations like olive oil with specific herbs, or certain cheeses with particular fruits.

The 18th and 19th centuries saw more systematic approaches to food pairing. French gastronome Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin's 1825 work "The Physiology of Taste" explored the philosophy of flavor and introduced more formal concepts of how flavors interact. His famous aphorism, "Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are," underscored the cultural significance of food choices and combinations.

The modern scientific understanding of food pairing began in the early 20th century with the identification of the umami taste in 1908 by Kikunae Ikeda. This discovery eventually led to our current understanding of how certain compounds interact to create enhanced flavor experiences.

The Make-Ahead Manifesto: 8 Dinner Party Dishes That Improve With Time

The second key to dinner party success? Time travel. Or, more practically, making dishes that actually improve after a day or two in the fridge.

1. Braised Short Ribs

Why it works: Collagen transforms into gelatin overnight, creating that melt-in-your-mouth texture.

Pairing suggestion: Something acidic like a quick-pickled red onion made day-of to cut through the richness.

2. French Onion Soup

Why it works: Those caramelized onions develop deeper flavor compounds as they rest.

Pairing suggestion: A crusty baguette and gruyère.

3. Any Curry

Why it works: Spices bloom and meld over time.

Pairing suggestion: Fresh herbs and yogurt added at the last minute for bright contrast.

4. Chocolate Mousse

Why it works: The texture stabilizes while flavors intensify.

Pairing suggestion: Fresh berries and a sprinkle of flaky sea salt added just before serving.

5. Classic Beef Bourguignon

Why it works: Wine-based marinades continue to tenderize meat overnight through enzyme action.

Pairing suggestion: Fresh parsley and buttered noodles made right before serving.

6. Lasagna

Why it works: The pasta absorbs sauce, flavors meld, and the whole thing firms up for cleaner slicing.

Pairing suggestion: A bright, simple salad with lemon vinaigrette for contrast.

7. Tiramisu

Why it works: The mascarpone softens the ladyfingers while the coffee intensifies, creating that perfect balance between cake and cream.

Pairing suggestion: A shot of espresso on the side.

8. Any Pie

Why it works: Fruit pies' pectin sets overnight, preventing the dreaded "soup pie" situation. Cream pies firm up for cleaner slicing.

Pairing suggestion: Freshly whipped cream that takes 3 minutes to make but looks like you tried.

Setting the Mood: 10 Ways to Create Dinner Party Atmosphere Without Looking Like You're Trying Too Hard

Food pairing creates harmony on the plate, but atmosphere creates harmony in the room. Here's how to set a vibe that says "I’m trying my best to make Martha and my mother proud”—

1. Light Layering

Three sources minimum—overhead dimmed, table candles, and something ambient (like that string of lights you've had since college but still somehow work).

Lighting is to dinner parties what blush is to makeup—the difference between "glowing" and "did you just emerge from a bunker?"

2. The Playlist Principle

Create a dinner party soundtrack that builds like a good movie—start with something mellow (think Norah Jones or classic jazz), then gradually increase tempo as drinks flow. Studies show music between 70-80 BPM is optimal for conversation flow.

3. Temperature Control

People who are too hot don't eat well, and people who are too cold don't stay long. Set your thermostat 2 degrees cooler than normal to account for body heat and cooking warmth.

4. The One-Flower Rule

A single type of flower in multiple small vessels looks more intentional than a chaotic mixed bouquet. Plus, it's cheaper and you can spread them throughout your space.

5. Strategic Seating

Place conversation catalysts (you know who they are) strategically and never put couples next to each other—dinner parties are for broadening horizons, not date night.

6. The Sensory Trinity

Hit three senses when guests arrive: something to see (your impeccable table), something to smell (whatever's cooking), and something to taste immediately (a welcome drink or small bite). This creates what psychologists call "peak-end" memory formation.

7. The Constraint Paradox

Limiting choices reduces decision fatigue. Serve one signature cocktail instead of a full bar, or two wines instead of six. It feels more curated and people actually enjoy themselves more, according to choice theory research.

8. The Imperfection Introduction

Point out one flaw in your evening before anyone notices—"I couldn't find fresh thyme so had to use dried in the chicken"—and you've inoculated yourself against all criticism while appearing refreshingly humble.

9. The Texture Touch

Incorporate multiple textures in your table setting—smooth ceramics, textured linens, something natural like wood or stone. Sensory contrast creates visual interest without requiring artistic talent.

10. The Bathroom Secret

Your bathroom is where guests will inevitably judge you. Fresh hand towels (stacked, not hanging), a candle, and something mildly entertaining to read shows you thought of everything without trying too hard.