Dear Ina Garten. I’m sorry.

I don’t know how to say this but, it’s not you. It’s me. 

You said “Engagement Chicken,” I read “Goblins in the kitchen.” It’s a common mistake…probably?

Please forgive me, but the results—well, they’ve been the coziest kind of feral that bonds you with your dearest friends and endears you to every stranger that accidentally knocks on your door then ends up on your floor, clawing into a perfectly crispy roast chicken (recipe linked here). 

You see, in the grand tradition of your legendary recipe—one that's launched a thousand proposals and probably as many Instagram reels—I simply found my own way to bring people together. We call it "Goblin Chicken," and it's less a “recipe” and more a social experiment in culinary anarchism (Example A).

Though my finger remains without a ring (Yes, I’m single and accepting applications. Qualifications include: I make a damn good chicken, and you can maybe have a piece), I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Honestly, I think you’d quite like it. At least the warmth and community that the bird inspires when eaten with the ferocity of hyenas in a Disney film and the camaraderie of a Getty stock image of a watering hole. Because based on what I know about you from hours spent stickily flipping to The Food Network with jam tart fingers and chlorinated hair on summer Fridays spent with my grandmother, you are the human embodiment of “Food as a love language” and “Hosting as a multi-coursed hug.”

I think you’d better understand if I shared the execution. Maybe you’d even want to join for one of our plate-free picnics. Consider this your formal invitation.

Picture this: It's Friday night. The bags under my eyes look heavy enough to anticipate an overage fee at many if not most national airports. The group chat is buzzing with the “How do we get out of [insert plan that Wednesday you were naively excited about here]” musings of friends existing in a liminal state between "functional adult who actually made it to Pilates this morning” and the TikTok sound that goes “I’m just a baby.” 

It only takes three words…Well, one word and two emojis to silence the chatter: “Miso, goblin emoji, chicken emoji.”

The chicken is simple enough—

Empty bird of inside bits. Shove an onion, lemon, and some garlic up there to fill the void. Salt and pepper the inside and out. Chop up veg. Plop in tray. Toss with assorted spices and “a really good olive oil.” Top with bird. Chop up butter, shove under skin. Pick herbs. Shove under skin. Melt butter. Stir in miso. Pour on top. Give it the massage that you wish you could afford. Roast. 

An hour later, my kitchen (lowercase k—I live in an NYC one bedroom so it’s more of an inlet off the living room) is filled with Four Friends and a Dog (the first draft of Four Weddings and a Funeral). They were responsible for the baguette—“Store bought was, in fact, fine”—and the wine. 

This is where we deviate from the Barefoot Contessa playbook, though. Whereas in the outside world, I am Sister Sophisticate and Table Manners Theresa, in here, we shed the pretenses of polite society with our whateverbusinesscasualmeansnowadays blazers at the door. 

Our chicken doesn’t judge. He sits atop our floor picnic blanket, decorated with pots of dijon, butter, and assorted chutneys and dips, a glowing centerpiece devotion to the god of comfort food. And then, with our baguettes playing the role of both utensil and sponge, we feast. 5 Goblins, on the floor, with a bird, engaged….in buttery jus finger licking and messy giggles. 

With love and forever open invitations,

Saanya

Build Your Charcuterie Board on Pepper!

Hey everybody - Matt from Pepper here! If you didn’t already know, we just released one of our biggest new features EVER, where we’ve made the Pepper experience even more fun and turned it into a ~game~. The goal is to help you level up your cooking, while leveling up your Board! Here’s how it works:

1. Earn Spice. Spice is like cash. Use it to buy charcuterie board packs. Get spice through daily claims & receiving engagement (likes, comments, saves, and made by others) on your posts.

2. Win Rare Items. Claim Daily packs for the chance to win legendary items.

3. Build Your Board. Compete against friends to build the rarest charcuterie board in the community!

We couldn’t be more excited about the launch of Charcuterie, and in honor of it, we’ll be running give-aways all throughout October and November. Make sure to follow us on Instagram to stay updated, and respond to this email with your favorite item you’ve won so far!

The History of Utensils

This newsletter is slowly turning into anti-utensil propaganda, and I don’t know how we got here. But alas, last week we learned that bones used to be left in the birds that were turned into ye olde pyes (pies) to give eaters something to hold onto while they munched because forks weren’t mainstream, and above, I outed myself as a goblin human known to ferociously claw at a roast chicken on the floor with my…talons. So the logical next step is to dive into a TLDR History of Utensils 101 from rocks to sporks.

Stone Age (30,000 BCE)

You live in a cave. Rocks were utensils…and probably your best friends, Flinstone. But actually, in the Stone Age, found objects were hunting tools, utensils, and everything else. Grinding stones were the OG food processors, sharp flints were nature's first knives (used to cut into wooly mammoth steaks…probably), shells were the first spoons, and gourds were bowls. In the later years of the stone age, cavemen shaped the first mortars and pestles…the same ones we still use today. 

Soup Season Trivia: According to ancient legend, soup was invented when a hungry traveler was carrying hot rocks in an animal hide to keep warm (don’t ask me why, I don’t know much about the hide warming rock process). He accidentally dropped the stones into a waterskin and literally made Stone Soup. The water heated up, and all of the hunted and gathered plants and meat in the skin cooked and made a ye olde broth. 

Bronze Age (3300 BCE)

In the 3000s BCE, metal entered the chat and that changed everything. This was the first major glow up for kitchen utensils. Bronze knives were sharper and more durable than stone flints, metal pots and pans wouldn't shatter when dropped, ladles and spatulas meant that you wouldn’t burn your fingers trying to mix things, and all of these tools were more versatile than before. This was the first era where aesthetics came into play. Spoons had been around for ages in their most base, utilitarian form, but now, metal spoons began to sport beautiful decorations and became prized possessions and symbols of wealth and class.

Spoon Trivia: In ancient Egypt, people were often buried with their ornate spoons for use in the afterlife. I feel like there’s a joke to be made about being “born with a silver spoon in your mouth” then dying with a bronze one, but when Howard Carter discovered King Tutankhamun's tomb in 1922, he found an ornate golden soup ladle among the treasures.

Iron Age (1200 BCE)

Durable Tools the Sequel: 2 Durable 2 Furious—Iron pots and pans were so durable that some are still around today. The knives at the time were also vastly superior to bronze ones and new tools like graters and sieves came into play. 

Medieval Era (500 CE)

The Middle Ages saw an explosion of more specialized kitchen utensils, particularly in wealthy households. During this era cooks started using flesh hooks to fish meat out from cauldrons (ye olde tongs, essentially), strainers and colanders, and more specialized mortars and pestles. The last tool to catch on was the fork. As the story goes, “When a Byzantine princess brought forks to Venice for her wedding in 1004, the local clergy were scandalized. They argued that if God had meant for us to use forks, he would have given us natural forks as hands.”

What the fork…Trivia: “When the English travel writer, Thomas Coryat, introduced forks to England in 1608 after observing their use in Italy, he was nicknamed “Furcifer” and mocked for being effeminate; ironically he would later die of dysentery which might have been prevented by the fork’s widespread adoption,” explains Matt Siegel in his book, A Secret History of Food.

Renaissance (1500s CE)

Things are getting fancy. During The Renaissance, utensils became works of art and status symbols. New innovation also came into play and Leonardo daVinci even created sketches for an automated spit roaster and a giant whisk-like device for an enormous pepper grinder. 

Trivia to bring up at Thanksgiving dinner when your weird uncle brings up politics: It wasn’t until the 17th century in France that the tips of dinner knives began to be rounded. This was done to reduce the number of angry tableside stabbings, and a big reason that Confucius, the ancient Chinese philosopher, advocated for the use of chopsticks over knives at the table. “He believed that sharp utensils would remind people of slaughterhouses and evoke thoughts of violence.”

Industrial Revolution (1800s CE)

The Industrial Revolution brought kitchen utensils to the masses. Now, finally, everyone could afford a decent set of cutlery and stainless steel made rust less of a problem. This is when ease-based inventions like the can opener were invented…50 years after canned food. 

The Great Molasses Flood Trivia: This is simply not talked about enough but in 1919, a molasses tank burst in Boston flooding the streets with tons of sticky brown goo. According to legend, this is what inspired the invention of the rubber spatula because cooks tried to scrape up the bits of molasses from every nook and cranny.

20th Century

Electricity changed everything obvs. Electric mixers (1961), blenders (1922), and microwaves (1945), all made cooking easier, quicker, and less elbow grease intensive. 

Present Day/The Digital Age

Any day now there will be a GPT controlled arm to feed you your second bite when you’re done chewing your first, but until then we’ve got a whole host of smart kitchen inventions. Everything is automatic and digital and Wi-Fi enabled. 

Utensil Etiquette Around the World

Chopsticks:

In China, Japan, and Korea, chopsticks are more than just eating utensils – they're an extension of your fingers, and using them correctly is an art form. 

1. Never stick chopsticks upright in rice—that is said to resemble incense sticks at a funeral and is considered bad luck.

2. Don't spear your food with chopsticks—you look silly.

3. In Japan, never pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks—it resembles a funeral ritual of passing bones.

Hands: 

In many parts of the world, eating with your hands is the norm. But as with most things, there are rules when it comes to doing so correctly and respectfully. 

1. Only use your right hand—the left hand is considered “unclean.”

2. Use your thumb, pointer finger, and middle finger to pick up food.

3. Don't let food touch your palm.

Clean Plate Club?: 

Should you be licking your plate clean or not?

1. In China: Finishing everything shows appreciation but leave a little bit to show that the host provided enough food and that you weren’t famished.

2. In the Middle East: Leaving a bit of food on your plate indicates the host's generosity, so eat your fill but not every morsel.

3. In Japan: It’s polite to finish every grain of rice on your plate. Any less would be considered wasteful

4. In the USA/Western Cultures: We are often taught to clean our plates, and that leaving food means that you weren’t satisfied with the meal.

In Our Carts

‘Tis the season for knitwear and that can mean your tabletops too. These knit placemats from Verloop are cozy, fun, colorful, sturdy, and best of all—machine washable.

Spending all day running around assorted grocery stores and toiling away in the kitchen can feel like a workout. Performance-brand, Duer, has a great selection of comfortable but still chic and versatile pieces to wear while you work. I love their jeans, but lately have been gravitating towards this Boiler Suit that is perfect to style day to night.

One thing about me is that I love a question game. These Lumitory Conversation Cards are the perfect size to slip into your purse or give as a hostess gift at your next dinner party. The stories that they spark are endless.

October means the season of costume-everything. Whether you want to subtly nod to spooky season at work on the 31st or go full sparkly with a Fazit-inspired costume idea (co-founder, Aliett Buttleman, has shared some of her favorites on TikTok), Taylor has started the trend of the season with these famous fairy-like freckles.

See you next week!

Xx,

Saanya