There are two types of people in this world: those who understand that pickles are a state of mind, way of life, and religious practice…and those who think they're just cucumbers with commitment issues.

The first group keeps no fewer than seven jars of fermented vegetables on hand at any given time, have strong opinions about kimchi versus sauerkraut, and probably own at least one grain related tote bag. The second group claims that pickles are "too sour" and "smell weird." They've never experienced the profound joy of fishing a perfectly crisp spear from cloudy brine at 3 AM (standing naked in the light of your refrigerator). 

But how does one tell which camp they belong to? Consider the following:

If you've ever used the phrase "lacto-fermentation" in casual conversation, you're definitely in Group A.

If you've ever referred to your sourdough starter as your "child," you're not just in Group A—you're probably their president (this is directed at my best friend who explained her sourdough starter naming journey over Facetime this week. She's called—Cthulhu (yes, from H.P. Lovecraft). Not my friend. The starter.)

If the most adventurous thing you've ever pickled is your liver at happy hour, you're firmly in Group B. But don't worry—I'll have you converted by the end of this letter.

ICYMI, my name’s Saanya Ali and I’m the founder of SOIRÉE, a platform, supper club, newsletter, and social community dedicated to reviving the “lost art of entertaining” and making food, and the culture around it, FUN…as it should be. Follow along on TikTok, and Instagram for more video deep dives!

Science: Pickles are basically vegetables that have gone through a controlled apocalypse

TLDR: When you submerge vegetables in brine, you're creating the perfect environment for good bacteria to thrive while keeping the bad ones at bay. These good bacteria, primarily Lactobacillus, consume the natural sugars in the vegetables and produce lactic acid. 

The science behind this bacterial drama is surprisingly simple:

1. Salt creates an environment where harmful bacteria can't survive

2. Good bacteria break down sugars into lactic acid

3. The pH drops, preserving the vegetables

4. Flavors develop and intensify and your midnight snack gets exponentially better

The Global Pickle Party

Before refrigeration was invented, humans needed ways to make food last longer. Enter: pickling. This preservation method dates back to 2030 BCE in Mesopotamia, where cucumbers from India were first preserved in the Tigris Valley.

Fun fact: Cleopatra attributed her beauty to pickles. Julius Caesar and Napoleon both believed pickles made their armies stronger.

Every culture has their own version of pickled vegetables:

• Korea: Kimchi (spicy fermented cabbage and radish that will make your fridge smell like victory)

• Japan: Tsukemono (literally "pickled things" because why overcomplicate it)

• India: Achaar (intensely spiced oil-based pickles that will make you question everything you knew about heat tolerance)

• Middle East: Torshi (turnips, cauliflower, and beets living their best preserved life)

• Eastern Europe: Kvass (fermented beet juice for when regular beet juice isn't intense enough)

Looking Forward: The Future is Fermented

The pickle renaissance is upon us. From pickle-flavored everything to high-end restaurants featuring house-made ferments, we're witnessing the dawn of a new era in preservation.

And maybe that's exactly what we need right now. In a world of instant gratification, there's something almost meditative about waiting for fermentation to work its magic. Plus, is there anything more satisfying than the sound of a pickle jar popping open? 

Life is like a jar of pickles—sometimes sour, sometimes sweet, but always better when properly fermented, as they say…probably.

5 Pickle Recipes That Might Change Your Life

Classic Dill Pickles

(For when you want to start a conversation with "I made these myself")

• Persian cucumbers

• Fresh dill

• Garlic cloves

• Peppercorns

• White vinegar

• Sea salt

Combine vinegar, water, and salt. Add spices and herbs to jar. Pack cucumbers. Pour brine. Wait 24 hours. Check out the full recipe here!

Quick-Pickled Red Onions

(The gateway pickle for beginners)

• Red onions

• Apple cider vinegar

• Sugar

• Salt

• Black peppercorns

Slice onions thin. Heat vinegar mixture. Pour over onions. Cool. Ready in 30 minutes!

Spicy Carrots and Jalapeños

(Like the ones at your favorite taco spot)

• Baby carrots

• Jalapeños

• Garlic

• Mexican oregano

• White vinegar

• Salt

Layer vegetables and spices. Pour hot brine. Ready in 24 hours. Alternatively, try using leftover green beans!

Asian-Inspired Cucumber Pickles

• Persian cucumbers

• Rice vinegar

• Soy sauce

• Sesame oil

• Ginger

• Red pepper flakes

Slice cucumbers. Combine liquids. Add spices. Ready in 2 hours!

Pickled Watermelon Rind

(Because food waste is so last season)

• Watermelon rind

• Apple cider vinegar

• Sugar

• Cinnamon stick

• Cloves

• Salt

Peel and cube rind. Make syrup with vinegar and spices. Pour over the rind. Wait 24 hours.

OR mix it up with this Fried Pickle recipe on the Pepper app!

Pickle Juice v. Gatorade: The Great Hydration Showdown

The science behind pickle juice's effectiveness is fascinating—it's not just about the electrolytes. The acetic acid triggers a neurological reflex that stops muscle cramps almost immediately. This means pickle juice can stop a cramp up to 40% faster than traditional sports drinks, leading many NFL teams and marathon runners to keep it on hand.

Plus, there's something wonderfully ironic about premium sports drinks being outperformed by what is essentially cucumber leftovers.